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Do You Remember British Knights?

Somewhere in between the late 80’s and early 90’s, the rules for fashion were being rewritten by the liberal usage of bold and crazy patterns.

A drip, or should I say RAD outfit, consisted of loosely fitting orange striped JIMMY’Z pants, a neon stamped logo Vuarnet France t-shirt, and of course, a pair of zebra striped black and white British Knights kicks.  

What do a prom outfit and a pair of outgrown British Knights have in common?

Well to find out, here is my brother Ralph, recounting the glory days of wearing his British Knight sneakers. 

British Knights- A Ralph Zool story
Image from Amazon

Picture this.  High school grad.  The accompanying prom to follow.  

What are you going to wear?  

Most of us get a generic suit from a blue collar retailer like Moores, or a hand me down ensemble from a Dad or brother.  

Now imagine a guy around 6 feet tall, 170 pounds, with size 10 feet.  The suit is readily available to purchase, but after the suit purchase are there any funds remaining for footwear?  

To a high school student, there is a decision to be made.  Does he save up and spend a little to invest in some dress shoes, or borrow and jam his feet into a pair of size 8’s from his friend?  

As the story goes, he chooses to jam his feet into the size 8’s.

 Similarly, when I was a kid, my mother bought me some British Knights.  

I loved them.  They looked great.  They were black and had a nubuck-like material upper. 

Unfortunately/fortunately, my feet were also growing quickly.  Nevertheless, I tried to wear my British Knights without socks to falsely give my toes a little extra breathing room.  

Needless to say, like a Dennis Rodman rebound, there was too much contact between my baby toes and my British Knights toe box.  Reluctantly, I had to give them up.  

So now let’s imagine your grails.  You have scoured the internet.  You have entered all the ridiculous online raffles.  You hit up all your sneaker contacts just to get them.  

Against all odds you are finally able to get your mittens on your grails. 

BUT WAIT! After trying them on, you realize they are nearly a full size too small.

Are you going to jam your feet in them like I did with my British Knights?  

Well, are you?

Ralph Zool

Published in Keville


  1. ralph zool ralph zool

    I recommend not jamming if you don’t want corns.

    • kev zool kev zool

      Good advice.

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